Remember - Ups and downs. It does get better eventually.. I've felt those urges even this week - But not as bad as the week before. It can get better quite slowly - Or a good day can be a break so harness those for some insight - No one was given a manual for the mind/mental health or life.. Even in school.. It can be good to walk this life, challenging with occasional success/lifted mood. We've both been knocked down worse I bet in the past.