I dissociate too much these days & have the 'nothing seems real' feeling, & often have the 'wish I could disappear' feeling. But at other times I can see a brighter future ahead of me. So I think to myself, maybe I'm just not there yet & later I'll be so glad I hung in there. So I'm trying really hard these days. I cry a lot. Then moments arrive with sunshine & I'm fine. I really look forward to those moments.