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Sometimes I get told I am selfish because I won't help them or they end up getting sad because I am speaking my feelings to them. "Oh I guess I'm just a useless friend than." I feel like this a manipulation tactic, but I can't be sure.
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Yes, it is a manipulation tactic:
emotional blackmail. That is when people punish you emotionally if you don't say or do what they want. Read up a bit on it!
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So I'm trying to not go out of my way for people all the time anymore. Is this wrong of me?
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No. However, it isn't really
you, since it sounds like you do really want to be loving and helpful. Therefore, see below!
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I'm hurting pretty badly right now because it seems like everything I do, I end up failing or the person gets upset when I speak my feelings towards them. I'm just tired of being walked over, because it makes me feel useless in the end.
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the thing is I'm such a caring and loving person
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What if you reorient your desire to help, aim it more towards organizations, and do some [more?] volunteering? Organizations will be grateful for your help and they won't use emotional blackmail on you!