I arrived at work extremely depressed, to the point where I contemplated just turning around and going home and making some lame excuse. I even thought well since I’m already here, I’ll go in and make up some reason why I have to leave early. But I’ve already taken 5 days off and left/arrived early two more due to my son being sick or kicked out of school bc he was exposed and the wedding. So I bit the bullet and got out.

Within an hour the abject depression had gone but in its place was restlessness, agitation, and way too much energy. I wanted to pace but my classroom is too full of desks, and the empty space is too far away from my student. She’s very needy and I didn’t want to be too far away because she also speaks low and I can barely hear here when I’m next to her.

When we went out for a mask break I swung on the swings with her for 15 minutes which helped but I was just so restless, I didn’t really sit down when we got back inside.

I’ve been restless most of the evening. Talked to my therapist and I couldn’t keep my words straight and I know I was jumping around topics. I was tired like 20 minutes ago but not anymore. I should have tried to go to sleep then. But maybe I’ll fall asleep ok. Who knows. If I can’t get to sleep by 11 I’ll take seroquel bc I can’t be up all hours of the night with work in the AM.