First and foremost, be kind to yourself.

You ghosted him because you had a valid reason and to avoid feeling hurt. There is nothing wrong with that.

Now, you are trying to initiate contact. I hear that it makes it harder, what with the uncertainty added in but all you can do is breathe and be kind to yourself. You reached out and now the ball is in their court. Some may want to reach back and some may not but at least you know you tried. So, for now, take care of yourself and breathe..