I placed this somewhere else but not sure its the right place, so I am placing it here..

I have been having such a hard time with my mom lately.
She hates that I started seeing a therapist. Tells me that I don't have to tell anyone my problems, that all I need to do is go to God. Objectively I understand God is bigger than all this, but subjectively I don't feel that.
If I call her and this subject comes up I tell her I don't want to talk about.....(as it always turns bad)......she says I know....but then she just has to jab at it ........and does it anyways...

She makes me feel so guilty for going to counseling. I finally shared it with my sisters who have been abused to. One sister is really having a hard time and my mom pushes the fact that she is not going to church. Gosh ...can she just put her arms around her once and tell her she loves her......I mean she's her mother. That really hurts me alot...

We never talked about the Se*ual abuse growing up. The one time it was brought up my mom yelled at us for not telling and left it at that. So we keep it quiet for years. It started brewing up in me after taking a psych class. I couldn't stop it. I started feeling depressed and decided to seek help for the first time in my life....at 34 years of age....

I still have mixed feelings about going because I have felt worse since beginning to talk about it.
My mom left this cruel message this morning on my voice mail saying I am poisoning my sisters.....speaking about counseling..

More than anything I just want her to be my mom, just once. Gosh,.....what did I do to make her be so insensitive? What did I do to make her hate me? Am I really that stupid? Why cant she just be my mom....support me just once in my life? Am I asking too much....sometimes I just don't know how to do this.....

Hanging on