Quote:
Originally Posted by Revu2
I've been enjoying our process of meeting one another, SprinkL3. Got me to thinking about why I'm on support forums (SF) and the value they have in my life.
I once kept a written journal where I'd write when feeling very down and never write when thing were feeling great. And I never shared it. About a year or so ago someone broke into our storage locker in our building and stole a suitcase full of my journals. Poof, like that, they're gone. I guess I'll never need to revisit those old sad times.
What's great about places like SF is I can have both my journal and my interaction plus the bonus of the record is on the web. Having a pen name is great as I can be myself yet somehow anonymous, too.
Right now I'm in serious negotiations with my Inner Critic and their minions. You see, there's a vicious Inner Critic that gets very annoyed when I somehow, despite it's best efforts, succeed at something. It manages to somehow get me to make a mistake, lose something important, rip my nicer clothes, drop something and break it, or misplace something and so on.
If Freud were here I could trace it back to my family of origin, and further back into slavery/post--slavery trauma where it was dangerous for slaves (or enslaved people, your pick) to know their kinship and express talents or mutual appreciation.
I look at Freud, he looks and me. I say, so now what? He says, so now you know. And asks for his fee. I pay him and show him the door.
Alone, and looking in the mirror, I asked myself: so, now what?
Revu2
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((((
Revu2
)))) You write beautifully - and poetically!
I'm sorry to hear about your journals being stolen, but I hear you there with the many points you made. Our memory nodes recall not always one but maybe many different memories that relate to some reminder/trigger/external stimuli. And even then, there are historical traumas (such as slavery) that become part of our vicarious memories, and then part of our family of origin. It's tough to cope with constant negative reminders, but we nonetheless cope in some way or another. We only hope that we're coping in the right way. Support forums are excellent ways to cope, IMHO.
I love how you ended your post with a question. Great introspection!