View Single Post
 
Old Nov 13, 2021, 05:50 AM
Brentus's Avatar
Brentus Brentus is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2021
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 722
Woke up with a headache today. I'm doing OK. Last night I had issues with that "unease" on a much lesser extent on and off throughout the evening. I hope that is mostly over. I feel alright today. I'm left regretting reaching out to my provider about the medicine, and I feel bad about sending an email about my insurance to my therapist. It all stems from issues I've had lately by doing what I thought was the appropriate and right thing, only to leave feeling like I did something wrong. I've been thinking (obsessing) over my meeting with the psychiatrist. She did her job, she told me to stop taking it and upped my other med in the time being. The fact she dismissed how badly it made me feel and when I told her my insecurities about withdrawals because of how bad it affected me, she told me to take half (after I explained thoroughly how awful the experience was and has been on every dosage), but resigned to "well just stop taking it then" she told me to go to the ER if I had problems. It just felt like she was annoyed I was even there, on top of the fact she acted as if she didn't know who I was or why I was even there. (I mean the clinic scheduled the appointment, I don't know what the ended up saying to her.)

The pharmacy jumped down my throat about being "responsible for my own medicine" when they were out of stock and I was just trying to make sure I didn't go without medicine.

The urgent care, despite calling and explaining my situation in detail, tells me to come in and they can help to be lectured and yelled at about how they can't help me with my problem and I need to find somewhere else to go.

My psychiatrist before this new one missed 3 appointments, and I felt it was appropriate to start with someone new. It wasn't schedule right for and she was rushed and pressured to see me, which made me feel like maybe I did something wrong.

I have always been told just don't stop medicine without consulting your prescriber. I reach out to only be treated like a stranger and coldly and told to do whatever I wanted to about it essentially.


It all just adds up to the feelings of reaching out is just wrong on my part. I have a lot of reservations now about a lot. I feel like I'm gonna be shutting down and just resigning to suffering. It's really unpleasant to have so many interactions colored this way. Also doesn't help I don't have social supports in place.

I'm really tired of just doing everything wrong. I feel like I don't even use the forum right and people don't really want me here (as stupid as that sounds). That one I know is a bit irrational and is birthed from my insecurities, but it's distressing none the less.

I think I'm taking a break for awhile. My issues mean nothing to anyone but me -- It's better I learn that now than to keep reaching out to get hurt.

Thanks for everything guys.
__________________
Hugs from:
BeyondtheRainbow, MuddyBoots, Nammu, Soupe du jour, wildflowerchild25