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Old Nov 13, 2021, 06:57 AM
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LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,034
Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
But they’re different decisions. You working on health involves just you, plus there are benefits. Even if you never lose weight, you love swimming and it makes you happy.

But the therapist—my sense is that she has been your major, sometimes sole, source of love and support for a decade. That’s much harder to give up, and it doesn’t lead to quick benefits like swimming—you have to remake your life so that you get that love and support from elsewhere. And that’s more difficult to do and involves change and chaos, plus there is no guaranteed good result.

These are good points. Plus, with swimming, when you hurt your shoulder, you stopped for a while. And then you went back to it when you were ready. With your T, when to take a break and come back isn't entirely up to you--it's also partly up to your T.

I will say, too, that I don't see anything wrong with going monthly or mostly stopping, then just calling to request an appointment when you feel you need one. Or to pause, then return to work through a particular issue, like resume weekly for a month or two.

Dr. T has said he has a client who used to see him weekly, then he gradually switched to monthly and has been doing that for a long time. He said the client calls them his "monthly tuneups," like getting a car checked out regularly to make sure it keeps running well. He also has some clients who are in college out of state now who might just see him when they're home on breaks. And he said with the pandemic, he got some requests to see him from past clients who'd terminated (and he saw some).

Pre-rupture, ex-MC had also said once that if H and I terminated, we'd always be welcome to come back as long as he was still practicing. How some clients will do that to process something they're going through in their lives or marriage. I liked the idea of the door not being shut permanently.

But I guess it doesn't matter what other T's do--in your case, Artie, it's what L is willing and open to do. And also what you feel will work best for you now and in the long run. Perhaps it could help to consider a different T if monthly or occasional seems right for you now, but L isn't into it. Though I think you should have a discussion with L to see exactly what she meant by her comment and what she'd be open to, as it seemed like monthly had been working well for a bit.
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