I was confused yesterday too when she said that. In the past she would say "You can always ask." As in, she might not always be able to schedule, but I could always ask. That feels gone now, and is why I think I messed with the dynamic of the relationship (in her mind, not in mine) by going to monthly when I maybe should have stopped instead, at the point where I didn't need/want weekly sessions anymore. Then again, maybe I needed it to happen this way for me to realize that I need to make a decision... that she's not going to make it for me.