Oh, thanks all for the luv and hugs. There's my Inner Stopper, the older sibling of my Inner Critics. Criticism ALWAYS follows accomplishment. Another sibling is the Inner Saboteur. Criticism alone would be enough to handle, but the Saboteur goes into the Real World and mucks it up.
The Game now is reeling into choice and awareness what happens post accomplishment (I'll use wins from here out because accomplishment is too long). Not all Wins creates any whiplash from the Inner Critic or Saboteur. That's fascinating all by itself and a real clue. When doesn't the dog bark? (To steal the key to the "Silver Blaze" Sherlock Holmes story).
It's like fishing, for sure. I got it hooked now on the end of the line of my awareness. It's twisting and struggling, sometimes a tick or 2 closer and I carefully notch the reel. Sometimes breaching the surface, most of the time underwater.
What are the Wins that get a yawn from the inner C/Ss? I've always been caution with alcohol and other drugs, never took up smoking, and zero recovery stories to tell. I guess I'm 67, almost 68 years in recovery. Yawn.
I pay all my bills on time, the mortgage is paid off, the 2nd mortgage deal just expired, and since childhood if I got a dollar I could save a nickel.
One period, when I had a steady paycheck, I began putting $128 a month into a mutual fund. This time period almost exactly matched one of the longest bull markets in history. I got into cash before the crash and used part of the money on the down payment for our home.
My parents divorced, neither of my brothers managed any long term relationships, yet I've been with my partner for 39 years.
Inner C/S: Stop Already! You're boring us to death.
Me: To death?
I C/S: Well, no, but into suspended animation!
Revu2