My problem is a hypothetical dilemma, at the moment.

Due to ongoing rift caused by my sister-in-law and her inability to apologise, I don't want to spend any time in her presence. Last year was easy because of Covid-related restrictions here in the UK.

This year's invite to their house will no doubt carry the same caveat as last year. "We're inviting you for Christmas lunch but it's not an apology". That's how my brother worded it. My mother could seen nothing wrong with this but then he's the golden child anyway.

Know I'm pre-empting an invite that may not come but the dilemma is, if I refuse I'm letting down my 16 year old niece (whom I'm close to). The other side of this is breaking my "life code" of not being a hypocrite just to satisfy their egos. Put simply, I don't want to sit at a table with two/three people who basically don't care as long as they look good in other people's eyes. Thought of spending time alone with my mother also fills me with dread. She won't stay overnight at my brother's as can't climb stairs.

Another instance of "damned if I do and damned if I don't"!