I started this conversation on facebook with this trans guy I knew back in 2010. He started to transition right when I came out in November 2019 but we lost touch before that but we were pretty close in 2010 and for a few years after on Facebook. I asked him how he was doing and he asked me how I was and then asked about my thanksgiving plans and I told him about going to see my family and he said he was just going to stay home with his cat. And I don’t know. I suck at conversations in general. But I didn’t know how to respond to him after that. He has no family support, and no medical support and can’t afford surgery and he doesn’t pass or anything and I am the complete opposite and I just don’t know how to respond to someone like that without like offending them or something. So our conversation just fizzled out. But everyone tells me to join a trans support group but it’s just tough for me because I’m worried I’ll say the wrong thing.

I just made the dumb mistake of lifting 2 half gallon jugs of sweet tea down to the garage and into the fridge. One pressing against my stomach. I swear I just forget that I can’t do stuff and then I don’t realize until it ends up ****ing me over later. Just because I feel like I am able to do something doesn’t mean I should.

Also that coffee is for sure making me light headed. so it most likely isn’t mental health related. But I really do just need to be more careful in general. Like there’s legit **** happening and I’m not taking good care of myself. I have been trying though. Today was the first time there was an issue with coffee. But I haven’t been angry or moody like I had been before.

The comment I made earlier about people dropping like flies from Covid even with the vaccine was a scare story my mom told me this morning and it turned out the person who died didn’t even have the vaccine because she was scared of doctors. Thanks mom for scaring the crap out of me.

Ugh this anxiety sucks. I do feel like my heart is going to give out. The cat is trying to get into the new bag of cat food and I honestly don’t care what he does. I had to buy a less expensive brand of cat food since I have to cut back on everything I can. And anyone who says to cut out the coffee sounds like a republican law maker. Although I may cut it out for other reasons.