This may be hard to hear, but it sounds like she has already moved on. I don't think you have a choice but to start healing from the loss. I have learned that you can love someone, but it doesn't mean you should be together in a romantic relationship. In terms of the division of assets, my suggestion is to be as fair and reasonable as possible. If she gets upset with you to seek 50% of the assets, I don't feel that is reasonable on her part. What did she expect, really? Her actions caused the divorce. I don't know what state you live in, but you need to ask your attorney if you will be required to pay ALIMONY. Given the length of the marriage, and the difference in income, she could be a candidate for alimony. I doubt you want to make payments to her for the rest of her life. It is so hard balancing the emotional with the financial aspects. I am working on my divorce spreadsheet tonight. Ugh...