Yes, it's still ongoing. When my mother launched another of her verbal attacks on me earlier this year, I told her it was unacceptable. Have distanced myself since then, although my aunt has played the guilt card, saying I shouldn't not contact my mother. Really, does no one (family) understand what is going on?!

I know I'm trying to pre-empt an invitation but have thought about my response more. Apart from a straight no thank you, perhaps I should call their bluff and respond "I'm accepting for (insert niece's name) sake only". That makes her the centre of attention, not my manipulating brother/sister in law/mother. Planning trip to well-known quality food retailer, put stuff in freezer so I can "do my own thing". Feels so liberating