bpforever1, you've obviously realised that your own health is very important. In other words, putting yourself first. As I've learned recently, there are times when we have to step back to safeguard ourselves.

Your brother sounds like so many who have excellent learning ability/ academically gifted but are unable to put this to practical use. Yes, some don't want to, others are incapable of linking this to things like getting a job or doing housework.

Your mother sounds like mine. Main topic of conversation is everyone who's done her wrong. Feisty is a good description. Even so, it becomes tiring when the subject matter never changes and in my case, are criticised for not listening/not caring. I think as we get older, we realise just how disfunctional our families are. We're not alone!