My weight isn’t budging. Despite the no soda, low carbs, low sodium, high protein, Atkin shakes, bars, and Topamax stuff I’m doing. So I assume it’s either the coffee I’ve stopped drinking or my sleep. I think they said everything starts in your bedroom or something like that. But I think I’ve gotten one decent night this past month and it’s really really wearing me down and making me angry and anxious and making my meds not work anymore. I stopped at the gas station to pickup some different kinda snacks just to see if eating something different would help. But I just feel like crap physically but drinking coffee gets my anxiety and heart going and makes me feel like a mess mentally. Basically it just comes down to getting my sleep fixed. I started back on the recommended dose of melatonin which still isn’t helping.

I ate a Jack Links salami and Colby cheese combo. I’m hoping the protein does something for me. I also hope my Pdoc gets back to me about my visitril. Even though it kinda sucks for weight loss it works well for anxiety along with Valium. Hopefully I also get this mood thing taken care of soon.

Ugh I have scar gel all over my hoodie it feels so weird I feel like I’m going to die. Hopefully these top scars eventually will fade with this gel though.

I wish I could sleep all day but if I can’t sleep at night I don’t expect to sleep during the day. I have to finish my DVD I think it’s due back at the library soon and I still have several more hour long episodes. But so far I’ve just been lying in bed texting my mom and asking who the **** is Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Don’t know if it’s necessary or not but

Edit: well I got in a decent hours worth of sleep. I was dreaming about all this crazy stuff I can’t remember now. I feel kinda better physically but I still have the anxiety.