My alters are all triggered now, and so am I.

There are just too many triggers during this pandemic, and so many key words, as if I'm trying to be lured in to the mind control game again, or some cult, or some brainwashing technique. Whenever I see words from comments or the news, it just sets off different alters inside. This is me today - which is a long cry from what was expressed earlier. Yet, what was expressed earlier was triggered by things today.

I lost a friend to Covid-19 last year. I knew him for over 20 years, but we lost touch until around 2019. But then the pandemic hit in 2020, and he went out to celebrate his birthday. A few days later, he died from Covid-19 at the San Antonio VA. His wife, who survived, said he had a good funeral. But back then, there were restrictions.

My alters were all triggered by that.

They still are.

And then we get retraumatized with certain insensitive words being spewed out in various places online. We try to escape them, but they keep haunting us, as if they were bullies trying to get us to die or to leave "their country," even though I served and was born here, despite whatever they may think about my multiracial Asian appearances or adherence to mask wearing, vaccinations, and social distancing. I'm not directly in their face yelling at them; I'm expressing my hurt and pain from all of the bullying going on though, which is my right to express. They don't need to hear it, as I almost always try to find a safe space to share with like-minded people. But that's even getting harder to find, as they keep infiltrating and trying to do mind control and brainwash other people - or at least tire them out for some reason. That's completely mental abuse, psychological abuse, victim-shaming, victim-blaming, hate-based politics, and gaslighting all into one mind-control technique that they learned from their masters, and that they keep abiding by their masters to try to enslave me and the alters.

We won't have it. We can't have it.