Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyWeb
Hey everyone. Two years ago I was diagnosed with paranoid delusional psychosis. That was after a number of years of this "situation" getting worse and worse. The "psychosis" is gone now. I have suffered from anxiety for many years, and that will never go away. I am on clonazepam for that.
I truly believe these people exist. I truly believe that I was targeted. I truly believe that they did things to me of which some I have no explanation as to how it was done....I'm not scientific enough to understand the mechanisms involved. But I was followed and terrified and eventually sadistically tortured.
Well, this was diagnosed as psychosis and I was put on anti-psychotics. They actually didn't help. But these people left me about 1.5 years ago. I'm not sure why. I think that they moved from the area, and that it is too far a distance to travel to keep attacking me. This one girl was absolutely obsessed with me, and she and her friends would do the worse things to me. Others would try to step in to stop them, but that was only a temporary measure. She wouldn't leave me be.
I believe that this girl and her members have either moved too far for the time being, she is in jail, or she OD'ed (she was a hard-core drug user, along with her friends).
No one believes me and say that I was hallucinating everything....visual, sensations, voices, sounds. No.....they actually were happening to me. I have MEMORIES. I remember it all. Years of being their target.
If they return, I don't know what I will do. I can't go to the hospital because they will say I'm experiencing psychosis again. I don't feel safe because I know that there is always the possibility that they will return.
Are you psychotic if you believe in your "supposed" psychosis??
I was traumatized by actual people in different ways for many years. I was terrified. Full-scale anxiety and fear can make a person not feel safe....but I would NOT say that I was delusional and paranoid. These people and events actually happened.
Am I psychotic for believing that?????
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I could have written your post! I have a very similar case except my torturer was a man. I heard him amplified, he was always monitoring me. He kept me awake for hours every day/night by making a certain noise. For hours, just as I'd get relaxed enough to sleep but then he'd keep waking me over and over again. It was torture.
I think what fed the delusion and made it start was Klonopin actually. I was on massive quantities and it wasn't until I was forced to quit Klonopin that I could begin to get some insight into the delusion. It occurred simultaneously, I joined psych central and talked about it, and some people thought I was psychotic, and then I told myself it wasn't real, and just like that he was gone! All those years, about 15 years of it. What a nightmare, no one could understand how horrible it was and then just like that he was gone. It was a miracle.
Maybe something will happen that will let you see the girl didn't really have power over you. Good luck!
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