Where did the time go ex-T? Our second lot of sessions when you returned after being off sick lasted just 12 weeks and now it's already been 11 weeks since we last spoke, when you told me you were retiring from seeing clients for good.

I found a new T after a couple of false starts... But it's not the same. She's not you. Now the thing that's been holding me together for the past 2 years is starting to unravel and all I want to do is talk to you about it...and I can't. When I lost you, I thought at least I still have X, now I don't even have that.

I can't even admit to new T that my head is in a very dark place, because she doesn't know me like you do. You would know what to say and wouldn't over-react. I don't know how she'd respond and I don't trust her enough yet to put it to the test.

What do I do T? I wish I could have that conversation with you.

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