Poshgirl, thank you so much for your reply. I feel so much support and feel a whole lot better. I am trying to do my best to survive and also be good to my family by not hurting them in any way. I love all of them despite their flaws and idiosyncrasies. They are my family. I love my brother and wish he could have been more productive, but I understand he can't translate his academic successes into practical work. I will do my best to manage on my own until I am no longer able to do so.: