L, I think the tears last night in the car were exactly what I needed to start letting go. I woke up this morning, 2 hours after turning off the alarm in my sleep haha, and the first thing I realized was that I was smiling. I know that I have finally made the decision, and I feel good about it. I accept the sadness that is going to come along with actually doing it, it's only natural and right that I feel sad about it because this relationship has been such an important one for me. And however this plays out - I know I will be okay. If you are still willing to see me in December, we can talk about it then, map out our ending together, and that will be okay. If you're not, I know that will hurt, but you know what? That's okay too. I'm so much stronger now because of the work that we did together, and I have the resources inside myself. I have a stronger relationship with h than in the past, and I have a couple of really good friends locally that I know I can talk to if needed and one long-distance friend, and my sister in KC too, that I know I can call. I also know with certainty that ending our work together is what is needed for me to step into the next stage of my growth, the stage that can't happen until I leave. Kinda like when I went away to college when I was 18, you know? So yes. I have decided that I do want to stop, I hope we can talk about it and map out exactly how we will, but if we can't, that's okay too.

You'll always be in my heart.

Love,
me