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Originally Posted by ThunderGoddess
I appreciate your thoughts of encouragement! This would definitely be too much for me though I have pretty severe BPD symptoms and a 9th-grade level education with a learning disability, so the amount of work it would take to get to that level would be out of my scope of abilities.
My goal was to get an associate's degree in English part-time because I'm interested in grant writing. I struggle tremendously to be around people and I haven't left my house in the last 4 months just to give you an idea of where I'm at with my mental health journey. I'm lucky to have a really caring husband who supports me but I'm looking to work in an administrative position in a nonprofit as that was the only job I've ever had that lasted longer than a couple months. I worked at a large nonprofit for 4 years on the administrative team. I learned so much there but then the leadership team changed and it clashed with my personality type so I quit and haven't had a job since.
With BPD your interest and passions are extremely inconsistent, so it's quite difficult to commit to anything because who I am today isn't exactly who I am a week from today or even tomorrow. So college in general was a very stressful decision to make and I have tried to attend college before and had to drop out due to my mental health. I also live in the middle of nowhere that was the only college around me and I am currently living below the poverty line so I have no money to put towards an education I can only accept financial aid at this time.
Nonprofit work has always stuck with me, though, and I currently volunteer remotely for 2 nonprofits. I can handle people from a distance, but I don't enjoy interacting in person. The nonprofit I'd like to start would need to consist of a team that would be taking on the bulk of the in person work such as job coaches and career counselors. I'd like work on the administrative part doing website, grant proposals, standard operating procedures etc. I do my best work when I'm in a quiet space writing! That's why I say this could just be a big dream but at least it's better than sitting around doing nothing. I like to have ongoing work even if it's "fake" work lol
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I'm so sorry you struggle with BPD. ((( safe hugs
)))
You could always elect to do an Associates of Arts Degree - General Studies or General Degree, so that way you can pick and choose any elective you wish, so that you can find your way and explore along the way. You don't need to make a decision on a major, but you simply need to select classes you can afford at the time.
Although most scholarships are geared toward those with full-time status and certain GPAs, you can still possibly earn a standing with some community-college-based honor societies (you need not participate in them at all, but rather, you just pay for the lifetime membership, get inducted once, and then you're done - member for life). Such accomplishments could help boost your self-esteem, self-efficacy, and self-mastery, even though you may still struggle with all those things after your accomplishments. But you will nonetheless have a better resume.
Many community colleges also offer hybrid or online-only courses.
Once you graduate, you could also see about applying for part-time undergrad degrees (Bachelor-level) or even special programs (Bachelor-to-Master-levels) as a part-time student. There are also online programs for those as well. It might be more expensive going part-time, since you will lack many scholarships, but if you can afford each class out-of-pocket, then you will be able to do so at your own pace without incurring much (if any) college debt. Some Bachelor degrees also allow you to choose a general degree, but those are harder to find.
For now, you can work on small goals to get you there.
I was chapter president and secretary of a few different honor societies, and I tried to help both part-time and full-time students achieve their goals through peer support systems. I never officially set up peer support systems, but it was just a natural-forming system that happened whenever I suggested meetings or offered email feedback to help my fellow peers. I spent a few times struggling with my own mental health issues, so I sought support from my peers and the Wellness centers and the Disability Access Center. I struggled with many emotions and flashbacks. The community college I attended was much kinder than the university I attended. It was also a very tough transition to go from community college learning levels to university learning levels. I then tried out a post-bacc volunteer research position. I did well with one mentor, but I didn't do well with another mentor. I knew that my mental illness played a role in that, too.
Anyway, you can keep moving forward, and you can always quit and try something new. That's what I'm planning, that is, if I can ever get rehabilitated again. I may have lost my dream though. I'm 47, this pandemic happened, and my health is really poor.
Don't give up on your dreams - even if they tend to change. If it helps, try making a list of all the changes you've made in your dreams and/or goals across your lifespan. You might find a common pattern there to help you decide in the future which direction to go, and what seems to be the crux behind your changing goals. Those are all things you could bring with you to a psychotherapist, a career counselor, a career coach, professional development mentors, etc. You can also ask professors in college to help mentor you as well, including, perhaps, those in the Wellness or Disability Access Center.
Oh, also, there are degree programs for nonprofits. I think nonprofit degrees are at the master's level, but you can always check out their requirements and then plan ahead with undergrad courses (that is, community college and transfer university schoolwork requisites).