I might come to the same conclusion as you, if I don't see any real positive change in society. Right now, being an older age and dealing with increasing ageism and ableism, it is tough to be competitive in the job market - or even among the boards that determine acceptance for certain doctoral programs. It's sad that it exists, but it does. There are still some very few opportunities out there, including abroad programs, but they are really hard to find, often take money to begin with, and might not be worth the risk of being in debt for the rest of our lives when the global and national economies are very uncertain at this time. Everyone is doing what they can, but this pandemic has sure caused a ripple effect.

But, FWIW, you have come a long way and made some great accomplishments! So have I. I earned awards, published a paper, earned two undergraduate degrees, gained lifetime membership and leadership experience in multiple honor societies, and gained knowledge in many areas that will benefit me in the future - even if the benefits don't equate to an actual career. There is this joy in learning more and more and building on that which we've learned - and that in and of itself is worth sharing with others.

Much of what I write online or share with others is based on what I've learned in college. My mere survival is also based on my ability to read scientific papers (including those that are both peer-reviewed and published while still under review for Covid-19 prevention). I do what I can to use the knowledge I have to better my own life as well as others. I don't need a fancy job title or a paycheck to do that.

I think this pandemic has caused many people to reinvent themselves and evaluate their new goals for the new normal. I think many have weight the pros and cons about working in certain fields, and I believe many have changed their plans and careers because of it. Some have decided on early retirement. One of my friends in Chicago saved up enough money to retire in his early 50s. He's not on Social Security, but rather, he's living off his savings. He was very frugal with his money, so now it is paying off in a sense. He can't find a job at his age, so he planned ahead for that. He does have a Master's degree, so he was able to afford saving from his six-figure jobs in the past. I, being poor my entire life, have admire his being really modest. I only barely found out his status during this pandemic, as I never knew that is how he was able to buy me dinners and lunches when I was really short on cash and living frugally at the time when I was in Chicago. I'm no longer there, but my friend remains my friend - now from a distance. He is doing pretty well, when compared to many others. But he worked hard for it.

I'm not that fortunate. He agrees, that not everyone was able to do what he did. He does consider himself very privileged and lucky. He's a planner, and he's wicked smart, but he knew what his limitations were, which saved him in the end. He could also foresee a pandemic happening, so for those - like the ones who are forecasting the perils of climate change - they will be well-prepared when that time comes. The rest of us are hopefully going to catch up, or at least struggle like we are now to survive.

Your accomplishments are impressive! I'd be proud of that and see what you can do with that now.