Quote:
Originally Posted by SprinkL3
My stomach was in knots earlier, and my headache still lingers.
I was anxious for the past week, but the anxiety seems to be subsiding a little.
I'm learning not to put too much pressure on myself. I can take it slowly to get things done, and I can pause in between chores so that I can ascertain my level of orthostatic intolerance.
My anxiety remains, but I'm able to better manage it nowadays. It wasn't always this way, and it took many years of practice with finding safety and breathing and moving and doing relaxation techniques.
Sometimes when I'm stuck in therapy session and feel paralyzed, panicked, and really afraid of what traumas are being discussed, my T helps me (and my internal parts) to relax and ground again by moving. She would tell me to move my arms or stand, just so that my breathing returns to normal, and so that I can feel myself again. I hate feeling frozen and trapped inside, but she helps me return to life by moving. I think she could tell when I'm that way just by looking at the computer screen and seeing me dissociate into the abyss. My alters remain there, but they are more calm, too.
I try to do that every now and then when I'm at home alone. It works. I get up, I do a chore or use the restroom or get a drink of water. I pace a little in my apartment. I look for my favorite colors or something safe in the room, like a blankie or Grumpy Care Bear.
It takes a while, but I find safety objects and remind myself that I'm in a safe apartment. I tell myself that whatever it is I thought I wanted to accomplish for the day or night can actually wait until I'm feeling better. It's not worth me stressing over self-imposed deadlines when I'd be more product later on, once I'm relaxed and calm. It's true. I get more work done around the apartment once I'm relaxed. So it's better for me to get some rest now.
If my tummy aches, I self-care with TUMS. If I feel anxious, I either drink chamomile tea, CALM drink (magnesium), or some water with the melatonin I forgot to take the past two days. I recall things that I forgot to take to help keep me calm.
I do everything I can to calm myself and my inner parts until I'm ready to relax again. Sometimes this takes only an hour, and sometimes it takes a few hours.
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I love what you write. You seem to know how to read your body, and then have techniques to help with your conditions. I have never had a T to talk things over with. My mental health nurse just basically looks at me and waits for me to continue when there are long pauses. No real help whatsoever.
I like how you sat that when you have chores planned that you know to just rest and put the chores off until another time. The chores will still be there, and you can be more productive when you are in a better frame of mind. A friend of mine wants me to keep to a schedule, thinking it will stabilize me, but he doesn't understand that I have no idea what each day will bring in terms of how I am doing.
I am still suffering from the vibrations in my body that started last night in bed. It is very distressing and exhausting. I finally took 8mg of Klonopin to try and give myself some much needed relief from the sensations. It won't take them away, but MAYBE I won't suffer through them as much.
You are doing very well with knowing your limitations and responses. I hope you continue to improve. I don't know of any of the techniques you mentioned....coming into the present, breathing, etc. I know how to put off chores, though. Lol.
