@stickyfingers

Yes, I was there as a kid. It's exactly for I felt before I got professional help for depression. The thing about being a minor is you may need to tell your parents in order to get that help. Sounds like you are scared of your dad. Do you think your mom could help?

If you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents, can you talk to a teacher or the school counselor? Honestly, my school counselor was pretty useless and didn't understand depression, but I hope they are better now and can at least connect you to some resources.