Hi all,

This is my first time doing anything like this but I need some advice. I'm sorry but this is going to be a bot long winded, bit would rather you all got the full story.

About 6 months ago me (male) and my partner (female) seperated and I moved out. We have a child which complicated matters. I would have gone to visit everyday of I could but my ex made it clear the I "have no right to invade our lives anymore". So I stayed away, repeatedly asked to see my daughter. Everytime told no. It wasn't up to me. I vitually begged for access, all denied. I was told I was being selfish. About a month later I was actually allowed to see her and it was great. Over the next couple of months I visited more frequently, to see both my daughter and my ex, getting closer again with both. While all this was going on I continued to pay all the bills on both the ex's property and my own as she said her money hadn't yet been sorted out and I didn't want either of them to suffer and risk homelessness. This however put a terrible strain on me financially and I struggled for 3 months, using the little saving I had, scrapping my car which was off road just to get by. When I ran out of options I tried to speak to her about it. She said I was being selfish. I needed to learn to live with what I got. I shouldn't expect to be just handed money. She was at this point claiming the money for the bills from benefits so I didn't think my request was unreasonable. She thought otherwise. We eventually came to a compromise. It would allow me to have enough money to get by, eat, and have a little bit of a life. I'd still have to be careful but I could manage while she still had the vast majority of what she had coming in to herself. Next day she cut me off, I heard nothing for days and I had to bug her for a response, im which she claimed I had emotionally abused and manipulated money out of her. She wanted nothing to do with me and would talk to me when she was ready. I waited for over a week and still nothing, no communication from her or my daughter so I bugged again, being in limbo was emotionally draining. I didn't know what was happening or if they were ok. I had no money left and the cupboards were very bare. Once again I was called selfish for wanting to know what was happening. I couldn't afford another month of paying out on 2 properties and told her such. I was told she would speak to me at my payday. I agreed to this as I at least knew what would happen next. I was wrong, the day before I got paid I recieved a package at work. She had sent the keys to the house to me, took all the furniture, trashed the house and run off with our daughter. I have had no contact since. All forms of contact have been blocked. I have missed my daughters last birthday and it was devistating. I have had several sessions of counselling to cope with what has happened. It broke me. All of it. I have since found that she has accused me of emotional abuse and neglect. She has put herself on a course for abused women. I have never been violent, I never turned up unannounced, I have never threatened her. She however has with me. During the relationship and after. Even now after all she has done I can't bring myself to hate her. I am doubting myself. Was I that bad? Am I really abusive? Do I not even know myself? I am constantly questioning who I am all while they are off living their lives. I don't know what to do. I am once again in limbo. I am miserable. The unknown scares me, I didn't know what to do when I split and now it's even worse. I don't know where they are and I don't know what to do.

This is quite a unique situation and I'm not sure if anyone can offer any advice. Anything to help guide me forward.

I'm sorry again that this post was so long.