Lately, been highly dissociative. Not really sure what has triggered this. Been months now. Today, I told me T that I have lied to my PCP, and OT and its small things, and saying things like I'm taking my meds (really not all) and doing PT exercises (Nope only when I think of it or need it) certain things like that. Also told her I had taken things from her office small things, and was so dissociated every time. I dont understand why I am lying, or even the dissociation. Had asked her without even thinking if she was going to retire, and she said someday, or something like that I do not remember, and asked her what she thought of me, and still she said something like, I think your highly dissociated, you have a hard tiime remaining grounded in the present, and some other things that I do not remember.

I feel lost, confused, and so do not understand what is going on with me. I am dissociated everyday, and not sleeping well. I feel that I dont care to get help from PCP or PT anymore, and often think I might be done with therapy too, and yet I can not bare that thought.

I am not working, have no goals, no motivation, suppose to exercise and yet I dont. I say things and want to change what I said immediately.

I want to snap out of this and dont know how. Any thoughts? Willing to listen to anyone. I feel I want to give up on myslelf or maybe I have. IDK .

Thanks for listening...