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I went out to the mall for a reality check and to try and fight off the feeling of helplessness that's been smothering me today. You know you're depressed when the only reason to go any where is to stay in touch with reality. It only helped a little. The tables of senior men yukking it up in the foodcourt made me distinctly uncomfortable.
The version of "Saturday Night Live" on my TV device did not include the musical performances so i didn't get to see Taylor Swift and the episode itself was not funny and i didn't even watch it all.
Quite thoroughly depressed today. Got up early but lay back down on the couch and dozed shallowly and had nightmares of my ex-husband. Got up for good at 11:30am, hours later than since January. Sleep is an escape. I'll be sorry if i start sleeping-in again as i thought i had that behavior conquered for good, but as escapes go, it's relatively benign so i'll allow it. Morning is so unpleasant.
The Christmas decorations in the dollar store depressed me, i dread Christmas and there were row upon row of them plus the front area of the store with the check-outs was lined with them. It'll get worse before it gets better. Christmas is still 36 days away.
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