Thanks for sharing your experience and thanks for the advice, all good suggests by the way.

I just feel trapped by my desires and never any outlet. There is little doubt that I could meetup with some guy from the internet but something always seems to hold me back.

I think maybe I could be happy with just a relationship with a woman but there is not a single woman on this planet that wants to be with me. Probably a little exaggeration but not by much!
It would seem that I have bisexual tendency's but probably not straight up homosexual if that makes any sense. In others words I would be with a guy sexually if there was a woman there too. Wonder if there is some classification for that!
Oh well I imagine I will go back into total monk mode in another few weeks and then I wont have to worry about it for another year or so
Anyway thanks again for taking the time