I am sorry you are struggling.

Life isn’t particularly fair. No one’s life plays out the way they hoped, something always go sideways. The most we can really do is do our best with what we’ve got. Is it easy, no, but what else is there.

Honestly there is always someone worse off than us. I understand it might not be helpful for you at the moment but imagine how much worse your life could be. There’s s lot to be grateful for.

You are on welfare but what if you lived in places where there was no welfare. You don’t live on the street and I assume you aren’t starving. You can physically walk, see, hear, type, you have access to technology, I assume you aren’t fearing for your life on a daily basis. You aren’t prohibited from walking on the street without male companion. You aren’t thrown to jail for no reason. This makes your life much better than many people’s. There is a lot to appreciate even if it doesn’t feel so.

In terms of your particular condition I believe you are not properly diagnosed/misdiagnosed or there was no follow up. If you were properly diagnosed maybe you’d have a better understanding of what’s happening in your life and possibly even get proper treatment. What you described sounds more than depression and anxiety to me. Why aren’t your doctors looking into something deeper than that is beyond me.

When was the last time you tried to get a job? Like part time? Something very simple? What was the outcome? When you say you “can’t” work, do you mean when you get s job you can’t handle it? Perhaps those were wrong jobs? What happened to your last employment?