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Old May 21, 2008, 08:45 PM
jmb221 jmb221 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Apr 2008
Posts: 10
Hi all. My depression got so bad that I needed to take disability from work. I'm very, very fortunate in my health benefits that I can do this. It's one of the few good things about the job and it was most definately needed. So why do I feel like I'm taking advantage of my company? I mean, I feel like I should be working, even though the job greatly contributed to the depression and I literally couldn't function anymore at work (to the point where I completely lost it in front of clients). I wouldn't think twice about it if I broke an arm or had cancer or something, and I wouldn't begrudge anyone else who took disability due to depression. It's a physical, debilitating disease! Yet I feel like I should be in the office doing my job. Forget the fact that I'm not just sitting around doing nothing. I've been in therapy (sometimes twice a week), adjusting to new meds, and actively looking for a new job, which I have to say is one of the most tiring experiences I've ever had. Yet it just doesn't sit right to me. I feel like I'm holding myself to a different standard than I hold everyone else and I don't know why.

Has anyone felt this way? Anyone have a clue why I feel this way? Yes, I've talked about it in therapy, but I'm still stumped and I don't know what to do to stop doing this to myself. Anyone have a clue?

JMB