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I guess I could say comparatively he is good because he isn't abusive like my last ex and he isn't anything like my first husband
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Okay, it is important to make this distinction: not abusing you like these previous men does *not* make him a "
wonderful husband" as you wrote. It simply means he is not an abuser. He is *still* a cheater and a partner who lies and whom you cannot trust.
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IF we agree to work on our issues and try to save the marriage how do we do that?
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Sure. He needs to want to change. Is that what he wants? It doesn't seem to be what he wants to do. He keeps behaving inappropriately with other females and lying to you, he is disrespecting you and your marriage.
You said it yourself in your very first sentence i.e. "
My husband of 8 years lost my trust in our 3rd year of marriage". I think that shows his true colours as he has clearly not shown *any* interest in changing.
If someone won't change their behaviour you can either accept it i.e. keep staying married, knowing he will keep on cheating on you
or make it clear that you deserve more than a liar and a cheater as your life partner and
move on.