I don’t know how I developed borderline. Like all borderlines, especially as severe as mine, the main major trait is I have a favorite person that I obsess over. And when that favorite person (who had been really nice to me initially) inevitably start rejecting me, it’s devastating and I often handle it wrong. All my feelings are intense whether good or bad. And when it’s devastating that FP leaves, it’s literally debilitating. So I yell at people or become passive aggressive.

I even become passive aggressive with customers although in a much more subtle way. Most of the time I just come acting as incompetent to them instead of passive aggressive. For instance, when I ask a question about their order and they possibly didn’t hear me, I just stand there silently waiting for an answer instead of repeating myself. Then when they get annoyed and ask what’s going on, I be like “ok I’m asking you yes or no?”

Honestly once I develop a good feeling towards FP, it’s already point of no return.