Sorry to post late. I haven't read hardly anything at this forum in a long time, but just read this thread. I feel bad for all the trauma you went through. It just bothers me that humans on Earth don't seem to have much passion to help others in a big way. Helping others in a big way is all that I ever dream about, but childhood trauma keeps me running away from everything.

Anyhow, reading about those areas of your life was sad but at the same time it was helpful to kinda experience through your eyes. I never had much human to human experiences in high-school, or ever.

It must be horrible to be aware of losing time so much. It doesn't happen to me that often, but it's no fun when it happens. Not sure why but DID has always been very hidden from me. The way it usually turns up is seeing alters take photos or people accusing me of things I didn't do or say. How can I lose consciousness and not be aware of it after gaining consciousness? It seems common in DID, though. Maybe it's because I daydream so often. So while I'm daydreaming and out of it I guess it's hard for me to notice I've been gone for awhile. It's easy for me to zone out while daydreaming or whatever it's called.

It seems your alters are nice to you. My alters call me a persecutor and for the most part want nothing to do with me. It makes me feel like a slave for them stuck in this horrible outer world body very alone. They don't seem too concerned if I threaten to end the body. Some have said I can't end myself because they won't let me.


Your out of body experiences sound interesting. I remember having those in early childhood. Although they were frightening and I just hid under a desk in the lucid dream or whatever they are. Then in 20s I used to get them a lot. In the lucid dream world there's a guide who watches over me. She's very nice to me which feels good. Sometimes she would gently grab me from behind and take me to heavenly worlds.