Danielle, You seem quite articulate and intelligent, and acutely aware of your own issues...you said that you "felt things building" and that you were frustrated, is that because no one listens to you and THAT makes it even LESS likely that you'll get the help you need? That also seems rational to me...I don't think you're sick, (physically) I think that you're lost. I think that you're searching for something that will fill that big hole there in your soul, drugs,relationships,sex, whatever will keep the wind from whistling thru there! I've been where you are, and what delivered me was my "moment of clarity" where i saw myself and what I was doing to me...and then when I understood WHY I was doing it (just to be loved), I was moved with compassion for myself...I picked myself up, dusted me off, and because of that vision of myself that day I never went back to trying to get wrong stuff to try to fit in that hole in my heart, why? because after that I knew that God loved me...he showed me! he'll show you too! he delivered me, he'll deliver you...ultimately, it all comes down to where you place your faith...in man and drugs?, in yourself? or in someone who won't treat your illness, he'll cure it!