I am 5 days sober from alcohol and cigarettes.
I am also out of town visiting family. HUGE MISTAKE.
My life just seems pointless like chasing dreams that will never come true.

I need to give up smoking and drinking for good bc of my health but I really do not want to give them up. My life is so lonely and empty even around my kids and family. I constantly feel like dirt and useless and a failure. I have become overly sensitive and emotional. I feel deeply hurt by the slightest things people say or do. I feel all alone like no one really cares about me.

I have struggled with this for 21 years and only gotten worse. I have tried everything there is now.

I think the best option would be to just slip away and move to an unknown place leaving everything and everyone behind and living alone for the rest of my life. The emotional pain is just too unbearable too.