Hangingon,
It is so ironic that you posted your last paragraph. My H used both of these attacks on me before my session last week. At the end of my session my T handed me two key points for me to put in my wallet. One dealt with me identifying his guilt attacks. I thought the statements were kind of stupid when she gave them to me. BUT.... I've since looked at them frequently and they've helped me mentally counter his attacks. Maybe having something like this on hand to whip out when you mom contacts you would help. It could be key words to help you identify the control drama and then some generic responses to use to break away from it.