Quote:
Originally Posted by DevastatedinAZ
Geez, I hate reading these types of messages.
My wife went and filed for divorce after 21yrs of marriage (27yr relationship). I am the bread winner and when she separated from me, I got labeled with just about everything a guy can get labeled with…
We are now 3 months into the separation/divorce process with 3 kids (13, 15, 18) and I think it is starting to hit my wife (ex wife?) that she will be unable to live the same lifestyle she had when she was married. Duh. Not terribly well thought out.
So now money is coming into play as we go through this divorce process and I have to bite the bullet and retain an attorney to protect my interests. She will find this out next week so that will be a fun meeting to discuss.
But like you, my spouse was ungrateful and took me for granted. $350 for a haircut/color… I was ok with it when we were married because if you work hard, you play hard, right? Well… She can go to whatever local place now and spend $25.
The one thing I learned in the beginning was not to hand over money. I still felt compelled to help out or take care of her… But as I gave her extra money to “help out” (she always said she was broke), I found out that she retained an attorney to get what she can from me now. Talk about feeling foolish.
So now, the ungrateful, taking me for granted spouse brings up money and that she is broke, the discussion changes to what do the kids need? Specifically… then I go buy those items for the kids and give it to them. (e.g. clothes, shoes, school stuff, volleyball stuff) Cash is no longer sent to the other spouse, specific items are purchased and given to the kids.
Not sure if this helps,
Jeff
|
Apparently ungrateful people can be found anywhere in the world. I see so many similarities in what you have described and really understand you.
I was doing the same mistakes, spending plenty of money on her, such as giving her some financial aid while she was on maternity leave and not making any money, spending my last money to a trip to Italy. What I have learned is that if a person dos not appreciate small things you do, she will appreciate nothing.
I do not know how long a divorce process lasts in the USA, but here the divorce itself lasts 3-4 months from the moment you file a claim with court and the other party does not agree for a divorce. So, a relatively short period of time.
However, alimony claims can be filed as many times as ex-wife wants until a child reaches the age of 18, but he good thing is it is limited to 25% of your net salary.
But if you can do whatever you want, i.e. buy what your kids need and not give her cash that is really great. I am working on it now.
But your youngest kid is 13, so I assume you will only be obliged under the law to provide child support (cash to ex-wife) for 5 years only. Afterwards, she will get no cash and you can buy whatever you kids need, for instance pay their tuition fees.