I'm able to do things now. The alcohol really messed me up so I messed up yesterday but today is a new day. I had a good sleep, worked from 9am-12pm. All the chores are done.

There's many questions that I've been asking on Google, leading me to reddit posts and articles. I'm trying to piece everything together. The podcasts that I listen to and when I sometimes read books, I'm connecting dots.

My doctor told me to just read mystery books or something but he doesn't understand that I need to build more knowledge and more have life experience to be comfortable with even saying anything, forming opinions etc... He's old so it's easy for him to say - Although I give him credit for saying that I shouldn't research too much about my mental illness and physical problems. He encourages exercise and simpler things.

I did try hiking after work for two days in a row this summer and it zapped all of my time so I gave up. I need to balance everything and not go from one extreme to the other. Last night wasn't good at all.

Practicing gratitude and mindfulness should be important. I was feeling that way last year (Or the year before?) - It was amazing. I want to get to that place again. I have experience enough now with my mental illness or life that I know what is good for me and what isn't. I shouldn't have to put my mom through distress by ending up unwell regularly.

I took a bit more of phenibut today so my mood should improve more - It's well deserved. I'm not going to smoke weed for a while because it slows down my reading by like 90%.

And maybe you're right @Angelique67.. I'll just decrease the Invega to a medium dose instead of impulsively wanting to stop it completely right away. My meds are pretty good right now.