Quote:
Originally Posted by Associate
Reading this makes me really sad to be honest. Some people are just materialistic and there is nothing we can do about it. They don't value good actions, they don't value memories, they only value money. For them leaving with a bad person in a luxury mansion is better than living with a decent one in a small apartment.
Again, your situation is so much similar to mine. I also did a lot for my ex-wife because in my opinion that is what a normal husband is supposed to do. But she just took it for granted and recently told me that I did not do anything special to her during our marriage.
I would say that you don't need to change, especially treat people differently. Neither would I. But what I told to myself is that I will rather stay alone till I die or marry again if I find a lady who would appreciate my actions.
As for alimony it is really good what you said. I mean if you pay for kids, then you don't have to pay much alimony. Here it is completely different since our laws are based on old USSR laws and no matter how much you support your kids and no matter how much money a woman makes, the husband still has to pay 25% of his salary if there is 1 child, 33% if there are 2 children and 50% if there are 3 or more children.
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Wow, those are some strict laws governing alimony! Yikes!
Yeah, it saddens me she wants divorce but is looking for a way to still have the ‘lifestyle’ of when we were married. Doesn’t happen… Especially when she earned 40% of the income. It will be tough/tight for her, but she will have to learn.
I don’t have any intentions of finding another relationship for the foreseeable future. Unless someone comes along my way that appreciates me and what I have to offer and knocks my socks off. I just don’t want to be hurt again. But you are right, I need to focus on being me and not allowing her to change/alter me or who I am. That would be the sin in this experience.
My support group are interested to see how my soon to be ex-wife does single… I have been that buffer for her to the world for 27 years… It should be interesting to see what happens.
I know what I did or did not do during the marriage. I do not accept more than 50% blame for this… if you ask her, I am 100% to blame which always raises an eyebrow. She has accountability in this relationship and why it is where it currently is… But she will not admit to it… all of her issues in life are attributable to me. So assuming this divorce goes through, I am curious how long she will be able to blame me for stuff after I am gone… She will be the only one left, will she look into the mirror?