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Originally Posted by DevastatedinAZ
Wow, those are some strict laws governing alimony! Yikes!
Yeah, it saddens me she wants divorce but is looking for a way to still have the ‘lifestyle’ of when we were married. Doesn’t happen… Especially when she earned 40% of the income. It will be tough/tight for her, but she will have to learn.
I don’t have any intentions of finding another relationship for the foreseeable future. Unless someone comes along my way that appreciates me and what I have to offer and knocks my socks off. I just don’t want to be hurt again. But you are right, I need to focus on being me and not allowing her to change/alter me or who I am. That would be the sin in this experience.
My support group are interested to see how my soon to be ex-wife does single… I have been that buffer for her to the world for 27 years… It should be interesting to see what happens.
I know what I did or did not do during the marriage. I do not accept more than 50% blame for this… if you ask her, I am 100% to blame which always raises an eyebrow. She has accountability in this relationship and why it is where it currently is… But she will not admit to it… all of her issues in life are attributable to me. So assuming this divorce goes through, I am curious how long she will be able to blame me for stuff after I am gone… She will be the only one left, will she look into the mirror?
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There is a rationale for such alimony with its main purpose being keeping the same lifestyle for a child as he/she had before. So, basically if 100$ per month is enough per child to cover his food, clothes etc. but a husband was earning a lot to provide a better lifestyle, then the same lifestyle must be maintained as closely as possible.
Based on what you say, she will blame only you in this situation. She does not think about how a life will be after divorce, these type of people rarely do.
The good thing is that you children are grown up and they can come and visit you whenever they want. For me, situation is a bit different since my son is just 3 years old and I need to communicate with my ex-wife to see him.