I am so frustrated as the house (where all our future money was sitting) is now worth almost nothing. To get a divorce & force the sale of the house in this economy would be completely stupid.....why shoot myself in the foot & destroy my 1/2 of the money also?

I am sure it will turn around again as it did the last time the house was worth less than we paid for it. This time, I have my own home in Kentucky & don't have to live around him, so I am free as far as that goes.....& I have all the mail coming here, so I am in charge of all the bills getting paid & the finances, so there is nothing he can do without it going through me at this point.....there is no way he can keep things from me anymore the way he did in the past.....I have at least protected myself against that.

So now....I sit here without any money to finish up my farm here in Kentucky & no furniture in my house because all my furniture that I own from my other estate money is in the California house.....ready to be moved here...just no money to do it.

He is sitting in the Caliornia house being the jerk he always was......he still can't take care of anything he is responsible for taking care of & then he thinks he's going back to UCLA in the fall to take an Extension Course program for 5 quarters to finish up before he is 58....lol. I was poking around in his email to make sure he's not hiding more stuff from me, & noticed an email to his parents about this. Saying how he's taking care of the 5 dogs & feeding the horses 2 times a week & all he does is cleaning, dusting & vacuming, watching DVD's & the limited TV that comes in with the cable because the TV has been cancelled (due to to the fact there is no money for things like that).

Where he thinks he's going to get the money for the UCLA extension classes is beyond me. But what is more beyond me is how he even thinks he could possibly pass a class he would take in the first place as he can barely figure out how to do the things he has to figure out around the house. He still hasn't gone to the Dr to have he failing cognative abilities checked out as the PDOC wrote in the letter to the IRS (the back taxes that my husbad didn't take care of for a year....never saying a word to them nor to me about the situation) suggested that he do.

I had written an email to his parents in March about what is going on with him & obviously, heard nothing back as they live in denial as much as he does. I had told him to be honest about his situation with them & this was what he ended up telling them about wanting to go back to school.....then they responded with telling him to ship off the 5 dogs to me.....lol....I had him take back the 5 dogs when I kicked him our of my farm here in Kentucky after Christmas.....leaving 7 dogs with me......

I shouldn't be amazed anymore at the stupidity of this family.....any family that can be to highly educated & so stupid at the same time.....I know that all they are doing is living in denial & sadly, I am stuck a bit longer until the economy picks up & I can get the house sold so I can actually have money to live on the rest of my life.

This will give us good time to get all the debt cleared up....hopefully go through the bankruptcy so that we don't have to split up the debt in the divorce.....it would be stupid now to divide up the debt & yet have no assets to divide up......just don't see the logic in that at all.

Kept thinking that maybe God created this situation to give my husband a chance to turn himself around, but it's obvious that will never happen, so it's just a chance to bide my time completely away from him.....Everytime I get a glimpse of what he is as a person, it makes me sick to think I wasted all my life on a jerk like him.....no matter how nice a person is.....the jerk part is the biggest part & the jerk part is NOT A NICE person they way they disrespect you & refuse to communicate with you as if you don't even exist.

I had sent him an email touching on the question that asked him where he was planning on getting the money to go back to UCLA & why he hadn't gone to the Dr to see if he was even ok before planning on that & why does he always have to sound like he's planning on doing something important when in reality, nothing of the sort can even happen?

Had to laugh as that email got trashed immediately.....just reinforcing the denial I know he's in. How I could allow myself to be around a person lik this for 33 years is beyond me. Realizing it has been for economic reasons in the past....but at least this time, I no longer have to live around this looser.

I don't know why, but I always seem amazed at people when they have no concept of reality....I should not be surprised after all these years, but when I no longer live around it, it seems to show up even more entensly, not being around that behavior & being around normal people.

So much for the end of a married life.....just wish things were a bit more finished around here than they are......but the freedom within thesse walls is worth living in a house with no furniture.

Debbie