Another hospital dream and I’m also hopelessly depressed already. This one was the same, forced back IP and RS too disappointed in me to talk to me.

Last night I wanted to SH so much. It was bedtime and RS was already asleep so I grabbed ice cubes and my stuffed animal, and I turned on a sleep story bc listening to the sad music I wanted to only made things worse. I wish I could go out for a walk but it’s so cold, plus it’s cloudy and damp. It would just upset me more.

I promised my ex FIL (first husband’s father) that we’d visit today. I can’t even express how much I don’t want to go. But We haven’t seen him in almost a year. He’s not as bad anymore but I really don’t want to see anyone at all today.