My ex FIL was ok, it did distract me from this awful awful depression. And he’s a reasonable man now. The days of him waxing poetic on how close he is to death have gone.

My grandma apparently texted my brother and told him to help my mom get her car inspected . She’s two years out of date and apparently “terrified” to do it herself. Like for real? Inspection is literally the EASIEST thing you can possibly do in NJ. The state only tests for emissions now so as long as your check engine light isn’t on you’re good to go. Roll up, give your ID and papers, THE PEOPLE DRIVE IT THROUGH, you get it back at the end. If my mother’s anxiety is SO BAD that she can’t do basic adult tasks then she needs to get help.

If she would ask for help I would help, but she doesn’t. It comes through my grandma.

Anyway I’m trying to do what I’m also doing with work, which is put it in a separate compartment in my mind since it’s really nothing I can change or control. There’s really no use giving mental energy being angry.

I’m struggling very hard right in this moment from intrusive SH thoughts. I am physically uncomfortable, like I need it, I don’t want it, I need it. Just to get comfortable. I have to miss my therapy appt to see my pdoc instead but if I’m still having trouble I’ll probably try to schedule with her later in the week. I’m just not sure she’ll have anything open in the evening for me.