It's such an obstacle in life, being bipolar, being two people in the same body, working at cross-purposes. I dreamed and fantasized for years about finally being eligible to attend an active seniors' center in my city. But since i became eligible in August i haven't attended.
My mood was high and i was looking forward to "meeting a whole bunch of new people." People more interesting than those in my IRL support group where almost everyone is poor and really preoccupied with the price of things and the conversation tends to be how you can get a giant block of cheese for five bucks at Price Choppers.
Now my mood is low and the last thing i want to do is to meet a whole bunch of new people and have to answer questions about myself. Yet my new dreams and fantasies are about getting a volunteer gig in the neighborhood and meeting someone special. It's silly. It'll probably be the same thing: the opportunity will come thru and i will decline the assignment.
Disability benefits has given me the luxury of privacy. Perhaps i'd be a fool not to capitalize on it.