Hi Ruby, I see you deactivated your account but maybe you're still reading replies?

I just wanted to answer your question of "how scary is my level of obsession... ". The answer will be different from person to person actually, which is basically true of anything, but I don't see your behaviour as scary at all. Okay, there might be some boundary issues here and there - that's almost universal to young people or people learning to grow - and big deal if you raised your voice - it happens - no one has perfect patience - so, for me, I don't see you as scary at all. Are you sneaking around spying and peeping through people's windows? Cutting peoples faces out of photos etc? Planning to commit harm on anyone? No, you're not! Not at all obviously.

To me, you just sound like a decent friendly person - maybe a lonely person seeking connections - someone trying hard to stay in a job, which is admirable - and reaching out for feedback as you go.

In terms of your behaviour, people jump up and down and freak out over hardly anything really, and I don't want you to see yourself as some kind of 'freak' or 'monster' because you're absolutely not. Trust me, I'm a good judge of character. You're a good, decent and quite gutsy person Ruby.

Stay strong and stay well upon your journey. 🙏🙏🙏