Okay... I admit, that header sounds like a nonsequetor. But I think that is where I was this past weekend. I went through boxes of old letters, papers, and memorabilia from my past... threw most of it away or fed it to the paper shredder. But then I had major nightmares all night, and Sunday in church I was triggering like crazy. That in itself is a long story. And then I ended up confronting this guy that has been showing up at church. He is a parasite, a scam artist who has discovered that church-goers are particularly susceptable to pleas for money and housing and pity. But I know his game because he sexually assaulted my friend, lied to her, stole from her, broke into her house after she kicked him out. He has been kicked out of towns and churches. He flat out denied my accusations with a blatently rehearsed line of 'I don't know what you're talking about, but I don't appreciate what you are saying.'

But an official from the church came and asked me what was wrong. Turns out that other people had complained about this guy asking for money... the 'if you are such a good Christian, you would help me out' thing. So hopefully that jerk won't show up again.

Anyway, when I got home, I was beyond calming down. So I put on work clothes and got out my pruning shears and attacked the blackberries and ivy by the side of the house. I spent nearly 5 hours ripping out overgrown vines and cutting down a tree. The end result was numerous cuts and bruises, not unlike what I used to do with a blade or my fists against the wall. But this time I really accomplished something... got a ton of yard clearing done. And long after the endorphine high wore off, I felt satisfied about putting all that rage and anger into getting a big headstart on spring yard cleanup.