Hello all

I hope to come here finding peace and community, I'm recently going through a divorce.

The marriage has only been about a year and a half but the total relationship has been 6 years.

I got home one day from work and she already had her car packed and already had an apartment set up, and then just gradually took most her stuff out of our house to her new apartment.

I let her leave without a fight because I felt I was trying so hard but I thought through counseling and communication that things were on the "up and up" in my eyes, but she was never happy and ended up leaving.

The counseling made us both bring up childhood trauma and the therapist which my wife chose at the time, only believed in relating peoples' present day issue into how they were raises and learned condition/genetic childhood roots etc.. looking back on it now I feel like this childhood talk all the time had an effect on my wife at the time and the "childhood trauma" talk made her resent me. I used to be a snappier person.but I grew over the years and calmed down a lot honestly, and she always wanted me to change or get on medicine for anxiety and things that my doctor said were mild and my doctor said i didn't need meds but my then-wife swore i needed them.

After she packed and left, her and I tried to work on it 3 different times. We said we needed to build a "whole new relationship" and then one night she asked me about goals, and was persistent on asking me about goals. So I told her my financial and future goals and she said those weren't "real" goals and I told her I accomplished all my goals by buying a house and (at one point) having a wife etc..

So I'm finally to a point where she served me divorce papers a couple weeks ago, i havent signed them yet even though she was egging me on to sign them and just get this divorce over with basically. I contacted my lawyer and he contacted her lawyer so that's where I'm at there. There was times where I was so depressed anxious hurt, crushed and just wanted old life back. Now I'm almost looking forward to getting the legal.figured out and moving on from.her,, she manipulated me and never appreciated a lot of what I did. She used me like a bar of soap at times yet claims she loves me. I know shes a narcissistic person at times and her coworker changed her also, the woman I loved and married was so happy, and then 6 months ago just started hating me once (her female.cowoker] started making me out to be the bad guy.

Sorry this is such a long post and it's messy, and I appreciate you reading this and helping me!! I'm just at a point of independence without her and her toxicity in my life, i never need her just always want her, I'm independent and handle my own business, but at times i miss her but i know I'm way better off without her. I need to stay away from.her for my own self-respect and move on with my life. I need to be with someone who loves me for who i am and not someone who changes me into what she thinks an "ideal husband looks like"

Thank you