Quote:
Originally Posted by Associate
The point is that you children are adults and they understand everything. Sooner or later they will have a clear idea who is responsible.
But the key point here is that after the age of 13 children do not really care whether their parents live together or not. What they need is to know that they have father and mother and that both parents will have their back and support them in difficult situations.
At least you will see your children whenever they want to see you and nobody will create a problem out of this.
The fact that you still love her will make it difficult for you to recover and it will take plenty of time, considering that you were together for 27 years. So just try to find yourself some hobbies and activities and keep yourself busy.
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That is what I am being told as well! So cool!
I agree with you! And that corner may be coming up quicker than I want… Our 18yo son in college is fully expecting to stay there for all 4 years. My ex? Wife is already whining/complaining about having to pay for a small portion of his tuition. “I don’t make as much as you” or “He is 18, an adult, he can figure it out!” So I need to get ready for when she dips out on him for August of 2022. My parents are nice enough to fill in the void for him so he can continue. Or if not, then I will have to raise the cash and pay for her half. But my parents (who are upset at this situation) want to sit him down if that happens to let him know they are covering his tuition so he can continue now that his mom has gone missing in action.
And my other fear is with our two younger girls, they love playing competitive volleyball. And I fear that they will be the next target by my wife. She dislikes volleyball because of the time (practices, tournaments, traveling tournaments) and the money required for the sport. So my fear is she will begin trying to talking the girls out of volleyball to make it seem like it is their idea. So I need to get ready for that action and tell them to continue playing and I will cover the cost of their volleyball.
Fun times!
She is now the buddy and “Disneyland mom” trying to buy little things here and there to show she is cool and hip. I am the one in my house with the rules and things they can or cannot do. I hope they appreciate it that sometime down the road when they are adults.
I am ready to stand up and be counted for my kids. I am not completely sure the ex has the ability or strength. She is very much into herself right now. Deeply saddens me. She never used to be like that… well, from what I knew or saw.
Amen! That is what I am struggling with now. I still love her and need to accept this and move forward. My friends are concerned that leaving the door cracked or the light on (just in case) is slowing down my progress. But as I said, this is a process… we met and dated as teenagers and now we are in our 40s. Its incredibly challenging to accept this finality.